Last year, as Journey Agent for a series of national live events, I began every event with a quote by 19th century Lebanese poet and philosopher, Khalil Gibran from his book, The Prophet, published in 1923. The chapter I read at each event began with the words, “Then the plowman said, ‘Speak to us of work.’ “
There is nothing more satisfying than doing work that we love, for which we have a talent or skill, and that brings us success. When we can make money from work we love, we feel as though we have hit the karmic jackpot. We start out life with a raft of dreams and a feeling of inevitability that those dreams will come true. It is our destiny! We are confident that it will take very little time and effort before our brilliance is discovered and rewarded.
As we progress through life and take on adult responsibilities, the inner dialogue often changes. We start making first one, then another, then numerous concessions for doing work we no longer really enjoy, or that does not allow our true talents to shine. We have responsibilities, commitments, people who depend on us. “It would take too long now to pursue that other career,” we say. “Once the children are older, or our parents no longer need us as much, or we put in a substantial number of years into our pension, we can take time for ourselves,” we promise.
But each time we run that mental tape, those statements assuage us less and less. I know, because I’ve said them myself many times.
It’s not that my career was not a good one. I enjoyed my work as a corporate entertainment executive with a great staff and a substantial portfolio, in a corner office, my favorite table in the executive dining room, an expense account and car service. I travelled the world, paid my bills, became a parent, bought a home, helped my family, and contributed to others in need. I accomplished a lot. I believe my parents would have been proud.
But truth be told, it was the almost life. All the while the siren song of what I could have been murmured in my heart. Sometimes it howled in frustration when tasks I completed successfully left me feeling unfulfilled. Or it growled with envy at the success of others whom I considered to be just as, or even less creative and capable, than I. (I’m not saying the voice was pretty.) The tape replayed incessantly, “You can do more, have more, be more.”
That little seed of restlessness, sprouting in my heart cave, was my creative self put on hold in favor of my life’s practical needs. I was ashamed of it, felt flawed by its presence in my psyche, and blamed it for my unhappiness.
Then I read several books by Catherine Ponder, one of America’s foremost inspirational writers from the mid-20th century. This masterful teacher helped me understand that everything serves. Any and everything can be the spark that ignites the flame of transformation. The restlessness and envy, the dissatisfaction, boredom or longing are our soul’s way of urging, pushing, badgering and bullying us out of our zone of comfort and into the life we’ve imagined.
So remember, when you feel like you can’t stand another minute, rejoice! From all that pain something new is about to emerge. “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”
