2014. And so we begin. The question is how. I’ve been casting about for an auspicious theme for this blog, a profound message to convey. It all crystalized for me over the December holidays.
I spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the first day of Kwanzaa (what the British and its former colonies call Boxing Day) at the home of my dear friend Hazel, her husband Butch, their daughters Quetta and Ayana and their families, and Hazel’s Aunt Jackie. Four generations, 11 people and me on a 48-hour sleepover with lots of food, gifts, games, music, laughter and love, deliciously bundled in our PJs in front of the fireplace.
I’ve known Hazel for nearly 35 years. I know her and her daughters’ dreams and they know mine. It is vital for us that we live our life’s purpose. To that end we are praying, affirming, meditating, inspirational book reading, motivational speaker listening, vision boarding people. Yet, truth be told, although we have made some progress over the years, our dreams have largely remained in the distance, vivid in our minds but not fully realized.
So this year, the thought of making New Year’s resolutions that end up as they have before has become unfathomable. So too the thought of another year of being less than we know we were born to be.
I know we are not alone in this. So many people are living these half-lives, working or trying to, raising families, getting older and moving through our days with our deepest vision for ourselves so tucked away we have nearly forgotten them, if not for the nagging suspicion in our souls that there must be (isn’t there?) something more.
It was my belief that if I lived into my essence as a producer, artist, speaker, writer, priestess, teacher and healer I would be living my purpose, and through living that purpose, I would slay the inner demons of fear, low self-esteem, doubt and disappointment that assail me. Then I would be happy, fulfilled.
But it has occurred to me now that being the producer, artist, speaker, writer, priestess, teacher and healer is just the outward shell, the material manifestation. I see now that my purpose is to feel through my fears and self-doubts, to speak my mind, to express my creativity with as much abandon as I can muster, to have faith in myself and in my rightful place as an expression of limitless potential, to love and value myself deeply and fiercely, openly and unreservedly. No business, job, profession, degree, title, relationship, bank account or possession can be my purpose. It is in living fully and fearlessly that my purpose is expressed. That is why I am here. All the rest is gravy.
Oh, the praying, affirming, meditating, inspirational book reading, motivational speaker listening and vision boarding will all remain. They are my training tools, along with great movies and encouraging DVDs, rousing sermons and heartfelt singing, dancing and yoga, coaching and therapy, walking more, drinking more water, eating well and taking time to rest and rejuvenate.
But at the heart of it is making a plan and executing it, putting myself out there, being open and expecting of new opportunities and following where they lead. In other words, taking action. Nothing can replace that. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Still scary? Hells yeah! But it’s time to change. No more excuses. We have a world to win and only our limitations to lose.
