I’ll bet you’re already sick of all the talk about resolutions (to keep, or not to keep), and how to strategically plan your week, your year, your business, your life. The diet folks and fitness centers have been gunning for you to sign up since Thanksgiving. They’re literally banking on you to start January with a surge of ambition, only to peter out by March.
Then comes the guilt, shame and self-blame when you do. Our inner critics get amped on steroids, replaying the tapes that we’re lazy procrastinators, lacking in ambition, discipline and commitment.
I think one of the problems is we tack too many new resolutions onto the New Year. We want to be better, but it’s hard to do better because the weight of our own expectations can be crushing.
This year, my friend Linda Kay shared her novel take on the resolution game.
On New Year’s Day (also the last day of Kwanzaa, with the principle being Faith) she invited some friends to the home she shares with her husband Jimmie for some food for body, mind and spirit.
Some of us joined her in a round of light intention setting, an annual theme exercise which was refreshingly illuminating.
We got colored paper and pens, and had a choice between bullet-pointing the highlights of our past year or decade. A couple of the more seasoned players (ahem, myself included) chose the latter time frame.
What were the outstanding events during that period of time? What accomplishments stood out? What losses could we list? When and how did we meet, overcome or recover from the challenges we faced?
Then, looking over the list, we noted the overarching themes that emerged. And this was Linda’s key differential.
Instead of starting the year from ground zero with a fresh list of things to do, we looked at the prior year’s (or decade’s) themes and created new ones built on the current ones. So it wasn’t starting from scratch, and that feeling, based on past experience, that we are already faced with almost insurmountable tasks.
Instead, we acknowledge how far we’ve come, where we are now, and use that as the baton we pass ourselves, in our own lane, onto the next leg of our own personal relay race.
Looking at the past events as the roots of the tree currently stretching toward the sky, we then decided on a word or phrase as the theme for the coming year.
Three women who turned out to all be in their early 40s, each had a farming theme. The past year was some tilling of the soil and planting; this year is tending the seedlings and allowing them the time and room to grow.
Over my past decade, I saw that there were several periods of growth after setbacks. I also saw that where I’d had success achieving goals I’d set, I would then stop and coast for long periods of time.
In my heart of hearts, I knew the coasting was really fear of growing too great, of reaching a potential in myself I can feel, but wonder if I have the stamina (or worthiness?) to experience.
First I thought my word would be consistency. But lack of consistency is what I accuse myself of, so it is not an edifying word for me. I knew I needed something more encouraging, more rousing, more affirmative.
Then the words emerged, “radiant blooming.” But what kind of radiant blooming do I want? I thought “raging,” but then came “radically radiant blooming.” Then just radical radiance.
Radical, meaning that I am approaching my goals with rigor and courage, surrounding myself with accountability partners and the resources and support needed to set myself up for success. I will bring radical commitment, gentle and steadfast, to each day and each task. I will even bring radical compassion to bear should I fall short.
Radiance, to encourage my inner brilliance to shine like the sun and take center stage, not just a safe little bit, but a whole lot. I plan to step forward with boldness, with faith in myself and in the field of possibilities that is the essence of all life.
As Rumi wrote, “Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrongdoing there is a field. I will meet you there.”
So with my theme words as my sword and shield, I’ll see you this time next year.
