This morning I was reveling in my morning practice and how it was rescuing me from “the simmer.”
What’s that? It’s the slow, low burn of toxic emotions like frustration, discouragement, worry and criticism that I wake up with quite often.
It’s not a bonfire, consuming all the air and light. Most days it’s, well, simmering, like a pot of something quietly bubbling on the back burner of the cook top.
I suspect I wake up that way because while I do have a morning practice, I’ve not formally created an evening one. I don’t have an intention set, before my head hits the pillow, for sleeping in peace. So the negative thoughts that are already on mental loop get free reign over my sleeping consciousness and I awaken with them top of mind.
Other symptoms of the simmer: my heart and limbs feels heavy and flat. When I open my eyes, I feel joyless. I’m fretting over a list of incomplete tasks and ruminating over the shortcomings of people in my life that are inhibiting me in one way or another. My other self “CeCe” (so named because she Criticizes, Complains and Condemns most things) is running her mouth at full volume.
A word about CeCe – yeah she’s a pain, but don’t get it twisted. I understand her place in my life. She is my adolescent reaction to trauma and grief, and even though she is motivated by fear, her primary goal is to keep me safe.
She’s the voice warning me to be extra careful walking down a dark street at night or wary of anyone on the subway whose vibe is a little off. She picks up on scams and cons. She also helps me fight my battles and speak up for myself, even when others might not like to or agree. She gives not AF.
On the flip side, she’s excellent as a proof reader and writer. That’s one of the times when her eagerness to criticize and ferret out mistakes is an asset. She’s a heat-seeking missile for spelling errors.
And when she’s condemning and complaining about something or someone, she’s letting me know that I either see or have those offensive qualities myself. That’s the only way I could have recognized them in the first place.
That’s where my Tools of the Trade come in handy. They’re the technologies of self-development and self-care that I have been evolving over a lifetime, tools I am constantly expanding and honing.
They were cultivated over scores of workshops, training sessions, lessons, coaching and in ancient and modern mystery schools of personal growth, consciousness raising and human transformation.
The ability to see myself more clearly, to be responsible (able to respond) to what I do and what happens to me stays sharpened by these tools. Here are some tools I am currently using.
Books: Get Over It! Thought Therapy for Healing the Hard Stuff by Iyanla Vanzant. I also have this in audio version. There is a section in the book of 42 prayer treatments for addressing Negative Dominant Thought Patterns that I like to listen to her say while I read along from the book. Double impact!
Other books in present rotation are Money Is My Friend by Phil Laut, and Heal Your Body by Louise Hay, both of which are great aids for writing probing and effective affirmations.
App: Chopracenter.com for the 21-day Meditation Experience by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. They offer free online Experiences several times a year for different aspects of physical and spiritual wellness, such as Creative Abundance, Expanding Your Happiness, and Becoming What You Believe. You can also purchase past 21-day programs for your phone or iPad – perfect for long train/plane rides.
Online: Excerpts from the Abraham-Hicks lectures that Esther Hicks holds around the country. I pick a topic, type it in the search bar i.e. “YouTube abraham hicks joy” (or money, jealousy, self-love), then select one or two and hit play. It’s especially helpful while I wait to fall back to sleep after that middle of the night bio break.
Another YouTube favorite: Pastor T.D. Jakes’ sermon on Commitment. Powerful and in-your-face! (Don’t say I didn’t warn you.) And you can find Louise Hay lectures and guided morning and evening meditations online as well.
Accoutrement: Another part of my morning ritual is lighting candles in my living room, bathroom and yoga/massage room, which stay lit until we go out or go to sleep. YankeeCandle.com is my go-to site for scented jar candles with holders and lids for longer burn time.
Next is brewing a cup of tea. Spiceprofessors.com is where I order a variety of loose herbal teas and condiments. Green and white teas, fusions (like Mango Ginger with pieces of mango, apple, ginger and stinging nettles), culinary blends (Herbs De Provence and Garam Masala – yum!) and single spices (mainstays Turmeric and Smoked Paprika) that I cannot cook without. They also sell single use tea bags made of biodegradable unbleached paper.
My yoga teacher gave me a bottle of Westerly liquid organic Stevia to try. Just a few drops needed, and no after-taste like the powdered Stevia, so I can squelch my sugar habit easily and healthily.
Speaking of supplements, a friend turned me on to Le-Vel company’s THRIVE capsules and derma fusion patches. I take one or two caps daily on an empty stomach and feel the difference in minutes.
With these, a journal and a fine point roller ball pen, I’m off to a sound foundation for my most optimal day.
P.S. These are not paid endorsements; just passing along things I like.
