When I was growing up, my mother had three sets of dishes. There was the everyday set, the one for company and Sunday dinners, and the one for very special occasions. In fact, those occasions so special, I can’t recall our ever using them. They weren’t washed. They were dusted.
One summer, a couple from “home” (Guyana) was visiting us on a tourist visa of several weeks. The wife made breakfast for her husband one morning and reached for the company dishes. I corrected her, and steered her toward the everyday set. I didn’t notice that she’d taken offense. My mother told me later that her jaw tightened as I helped her replace the place settings. But I’d already begun to consider them family, and figured the daily china would do just fine.
Throughout life, that habit stuck with me. I saved somethings for later, for the better, more important time. From cookware and dishes, clothing and jewelry, to my newest material and best effort in my work, I held back thinking that a more auspicious time was right around the corner, and then I would present my absolute best to dazzle those around me.
Part of my motivation, hidden from my conscious thought at the time, was that I believed my most beautiful possessions, best creativity, my most distinctive work product were in limited supply. I believed in scarcity, in thinking there was but so much of the good stuff to go around. To go even further, my self-perception was that I was not completely deserving, and that I had to continuously prove myself to qualify for greatness.
It was not until my 30s that I realized that I was wrong. A mixture of experiences over a couple of decades including attending Amway rallies (loved the self-development, not so much the selling soap), working for the executive leadership of a multinational corporation, and metaphysical training in the fluidity of consciousness and adept-ship all expanded my understanding, capacity and productivity.
Not only is my best always needed, my creativity is limitless, and my deserving undeniable.
l-r: Ne-Yo, Jennifer Lopez, Derek Hough, World of Dance
Recently I was watching World of Dance, the Jennifer Lopez dance competition show. It was the Redemption round, where two contestants who had not made it through the previous Duel rounds, had one more chance to face off against each other to see who would pass to the finals.
It was the group Oxygen against the duo, Styles and Emma.
Oxygen, World of Dance, Season 4
Oxygen had a distinctive contemporary dance style that incorporated precision arm movements reminiscent of the Goddess Shiva who is depicted with many arms with which to create, destroy and transform. But in their Duel round, Oxygen went for something different, a hip hop dance. It was fun as a bag of colorful candies, but not their strongest moves. And they lost. So Redemption was their last chance to stay in the competition.
What they presented in Redemption was the sharpest, most imaginative performance of precision moves, musicality and storytelling the judges had ever seen on the show.
All of the judges were up and out of their seats. Ne-Yo ran an airplane around the group. J Lo told the group who had beaten them in the Duels that they were lucky Oxygen had not performed that dance against them in the previous round.
Then the judges went further. They admonished all of the contestants for holding back on their strongest material for later, for robbing themselves, their competition and the show by not putting out their best every time. Derek Hough said it was infuriating because Oxygen was almost eliminated. The world would not have seen all that they have to offer. T’Witch noted it took them almost being sent home for them to grab onto the pain of possible loss to pull out the best within.
Jennifer said it best. “Do not come out here and play! We don’t have time for that. All we have in this life is here and now. That’s it. You can’t take that for granted. In any moment in your life, you have to attack it like it’s the last moment you might get.”
Let that be the lesson. No more holding back. Time to show the world what we’re workin’ with, cuz all we have is now.
