My friend Sylvia, a hospital administrator, has been working from home during the pandemic. Her boss, who is the chief executive, sent her home as soon as the dimensions of the Coronavirus’ impact became clear. She foresaw there needed to be a clear mind and able hands beyond the front lines of critical care to help with the immense coordinating tasks that lay ahead.
Sylvia’s job quickly evolved into managing the many donations of food and supplies that began to pour in from all around the country. She was at her laptop “from can’t see in the morning to can’t see at night,” fielding information across several time zones and synchronizing receivables to the hospital.
Over the past few intense weeks, she has observed several things.
There is an untapped and under-acknowledged wellspring of generosity in this country. People give, especially in times of crisis, whether they are asked or not. They see a need and fill it as best they can.
There are many ways that people give: from 12 homemade masks to a truckload of 25,000; from small individual donations tucked into an envelope, or gathered on impromptu Go Fund Me pages, to large foundation checks transferred between bank accounts or delivered in the form of in-kind supplies.
Some donations, sent by people who were giving from their heartfelt desire to help, but with little sophistication in the science of giving, required hand-holding through numerous phone calls on the minutest details. What color do you think? What size should I make it? They monitored the arrival of their donation with calls tracking the delivery route block by block. The driver says he’s at 59th St. Now he’s stuck in traffic at 72 St. Their giving, while deeply appreciated, required constant and time-consuming attention from the recipient and cost more in effort than the worth of the gift.
Then there are the givers who, by dint of the size and scope of their organizations, scheduled and transferred tons of meals in the span of a few emails and a phone call. Or caterers and restauranteurs who alerted her to their giving once, then consistently delivered over and over again. They have been the silent contributors giving without fanfare, press release or news coverage.
Media reports of the many acts of giving happening across the country sometimes distort the true nature of the need by only highlighting the most dire and sensational shortages. This gives the impression that the need is the same everywhere, when in actuality different parts of the city and country are differently prepared and resourced. So when masks are sent to a hospital that has enough, additional time and steps must be taken to forward them to a place in greater need.
The reports also gloss over the actual logistics of donating which, in the case of food, like any production, requires all kinds of detailed knowledge: mandatory permits, delivery schedules, road closings, tonnage limits, permissible meal containers, food handling procedures, listing of ingredients, allergy considerations, storage temperature requirements, stipulations for proper disposal, compulsory approvals, meticulous record-keeping of proper inventory and precise and honest financial documentation.
These skills in infrastructure management are learned and practiced by professionals with years of experience. A desire to be helpful is not enough, and lack of knowledge and attention to these details can cause serious problems on many levels, now and later on.
In my work coaching emerging entrepreneurs, I often meet people who want to create a non-profit organization that fills what they see as a unique need when, with a little research, they would discover other, more established entities already doing that work.
The same applies to this crisis. There are numerous organizations addressing many different facets of national and international need laid bare by the pandemic. Most of us can best help by supporting these already existing endeavors.
A recent article by one of my favorite New York Times Opinion columnists, Nicholas Kristof, details five organizations that already have their hands extended into pockets of deep need, along with an apparatus to support them with the simple click of a mouse. You can find the article here.
Finally, this time of Coronavirus had caused us to face our fears of loss of income and of life, of how much we can afford to give, and how to receive past our pride.
When I think of giving and receiving on the metaphysical level of intention and reciprocity, I am reminded of the chapter On Giving, in the bestselling book The Prophet, written by 20th century Lebanese-American poet and mystic, Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931.
“Then said a rich man, ‘Speak to us of Giving.’
And he answered:
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the over-prudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need by need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?
There are those who give little of the much which they have—and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall someday be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors’.
You often say, “I would give, but only to the deserving.”
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be, than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, or receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life—while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And you receivers—and you are all receivers—assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be over-mindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the freehearted earth for mother, and God for father.”
